Dhyanam for dummies {me!}

Lately I have begun to want to recite certain stotras. I really like the meaning and truly feel like offering the words. Although not entirely convinced I refrained from mere recitation; I began conducting देव पूजा.
Couple of weeks ago I was at the end of the still-not-sure-why process of bathing the idols, offering गंद, हलद,कुंकू, दिवा, धुप, and was about to do namsmaran. I got called out for a phone call and I decided to take it assuming of course I could get back to the recitation part after. Conversation over I walked back and sat myself ready to begin the स्मरण and स्तोत्र.
I couldn't do it! I completed the prayers but had to force myself to finish it and it was an excercise of will to not abandon it. My mind kept going over and over the conversation I just had and would not stop thinking of endless "what if?". Usually I enjoy the recitation and it is actually what I look forward to while going through {what I beleived} the motions of देव पूजा!
Then it dawned on me. The so far redudanat process was actually meditation. No one can plug into their consciousness immediately {well not everyday folk like me without any prior practice} and that is where 'rituals' of worship come into the picture. It is a sub or un conscience fine-tuning of the mind. This is what I see now;

The tapping of the mind into the consciousness begins with waking up early in the morning. It is the most pleasant part of the day in terms of weather, the body is rested and relaxed, mind is at ease not only from the night's sleep but also because nothing has trasnpired yet to work the mind or emotions up. A bath helps soothe the body and mind at the same time invigorates them. Once the process of pooja begins the mind is knowingly or unknowingly tuning unwanted thoughts out and focusing on the idols and offerings actually steadies the mind. Because you are not rushing through, your breathing also gets steady and regulated. The flowers, incense and mellow light of the lamp all enforce the steady state and help you reach a point where  all unwanted and distrubing thoughts are gone and your mind is blank, ready to recieve. Thereafter when you recite the shlokas and stotras you are in a position to reap its true benefits.
Reaching this state is quite difficult for someone without regular yog or without योगविद्या.  When every day issues, problems, complications, aspirations, dreams weigh on a persons' heart, mind and soul this simplistic process in terms of things-to-do can release wonderful rewards.

I was fooled by the simplicity. I took simplicity as masking stupidity all this while. Although I still wish someone would have taken time and effort to explain this to me earlier in life it is not lost on me that even on my own this realisation did not come to me untill I was ready and willing to recieve it.

Fair to expect honesty?

With summer ever so near and the world affairs being the way they currently are, rising oil prices is a sure-fire conversational hare. Last week, at the end of an interstate flight the topic invariably came up between us and the driver of the cab we were in. Rising oil prices at the gas station is a relatively unaccustomed affair in this oil producing state. The interesting bit of the exchange was when the driver disclosed to us that he and some of his day job colleagues were in the process of putting together a car-pool-to-work scheme. Also, that this was not exactly exclusive because everyone around seemed to be crafting similar gas saving strategies. Coming from residents of a historically oil producing and gas guzzling state this was a pleasant surprise. Of course it just reinforces the conventional economic law that demand can be fundametally influenced by changes in prices.
Oil prices do not generally reflect the true demand and supply in any given market. There is the subsidy buffer in almost every instance. In India for example the ongoing -and for some time- debate about cutting petrol subsidy so as to reflect a price nearer to the actual cost of acquiring the resource inevitably highlights the fact that a skewed price in turn skews demand. A cut in the subsidy [lets not even begin to entertain the thought of removing it!] will alter the price but more importantly will alter the demand for the commodity too. For example, by eliminating wastes or generally nudging the population to treat the resource as the dear commodity that it is.  
In this country the oil prices are on the up again and as with the 2008 episode, it has all to do with global imbalances in supply and nothing to do with correcting the price in the domestic market. The 2008 spike in oil prices had appeared to just begin to alter the demand behaviour in the domestic market with increasing sales in hybrid vehicles and a corresponding drop in SUV sales for example. Currently even if the prices at the gas stations have been creeping upwards rather than galloping, the familiarity of the situation has got the population already preparing for cutting costs.

So, the knowledge of the truer price will bring about a more sincere behaviour then?

Now, along the same lines and from a parent prespective [everything these days has a parent prespective to it] I begin to wonder at the implications of this maxim to child rearing. Will the knowledge of the actual price to pay or revelation thereof elicit a non-skewed behaviour? A more honest behaviour, an action or reaction that is free of wrong incentives?  A more of "for the right reasons" kind of conduct?
Further, talking as we are of children and given that they are not exactly in the best position to judge or fully understand the consequences or price at all times, is it then the responsibility of the parent to show the repurcussions as best as he/she can? That then begs the question of ability on the part of the parent with regards to how much they may, can and more importantly are willing to unveil!

If the question is about non-skewed beahaviour on the part of the child how much of a non-skewed bahaviour ought to be expected from the parents to beging with??

When does the 'learning' really happen?

Something I have been dreading for quite a while has finally come to pass.
My sibling has made the announcement most families prefer not to hear..."I have made my choice and this is who I want to marry".
Althought not such a big deal as it once was, it didnt even prove as big a deal as I thought it would be! It turns out, all those nights of bad dreams and restlessness and worries about how my parents would react have essentially come to a naught. Nothing overtly emotional has happened and from the looks of it, things will work out just fine. Of course it will not be ideal but the relief from not having to see the worse is far far greater than conditions being less than perfect [does that even happen?].

Hasnt everybody heard somewhere, sometime that things are never as bad as they seem? The lesson is literal there and simple to follow right? But how many times have I held on to it or even remembered it and not shrunk from facing a situation only because of the webs of entanglement that I kept weaving in my mind? Never. Not once that I can recall. What in fact I can recollect is a long list of episodes where I consistently avoided a situation however inevitable by letting myself be overwhelmed with fear of the worst. The counter-party list that I can also summon is that of sheer nothingness that actually resulted when I did in the end stand up to the circumstances. There is yet another corresponding list where I have reminded myself and sternly so at times that I need to realise that the worse as a matter of fact mostly resides in my mind and not in reality.

So is this then a matter of slow learning on my part? Or a refusal to learn an oft realised lesson?
Or simply that I as a person lack fortitude....the courage of conviction?

Well, if you look at it that way!

I am a convent school product. In India and especially in my age this mostly meant you were instructed and were expected to command over "Queen's" english; UK english if you will. There was no cable and not much infusion of north american television or movies in our lives to know untill quite late that the world knew another way of using english as a language. That there was a websters to the wren & martin. All these years later I still have a problem with swallowing non-UK grammer and spellings. The s-to-z conversions still jar me!

 I have had in fact a lot of problems with the sounds that grate my sense of what correct grammer should be. It took me a while to get comfortable with texting what with all the abbrs and intializn. I am aware that how much ever I think I've gotten 'footloose' Iam still medival in that sphere!
I have a thing against rap and hip hop too. I dont understand it most times and even if I do, I dont always appreciate it [leave aside eminem for now]. My thoughts are immediately drawn towards 'kids listen to this kind of stuff; the music has influence and on kids at a very impressionable age; among other things it promotes, this is awful language!' And then when I hear things like "whys you gatta sit here?" to my request to a young one to take her feet off from top of my seat, I feel somwhat vindicated. Justification for my sense of pall for where is the language going also comes to me in bits and pieces when I overhear conversations in everyday life on the train, in the coffee shop, bus stand, etc

 Of course this could be just an "A-G-E" thing. But humour me, I am goin somewhere else with this. 

 I've always been fascinated with Shakespeare. Never really had a chance to study literature although I would have loved to. The DIY method of studying isnt as easy as it may seem. The language to put it mildly, needs efforts to understand. Its not an easy read.
My fondness for literature not being restricted to the english language, I am also an eager learner for Indian literature. The classic texts like the Geeta, Gyaneshwari being part of this personal quest as much as the yearning to know the substance of the vedas. Again, none of these ['ask aaenyyybody!'] are easy reading for a DIY project.
Another patch of passion: movies. I love movies and esp old movies the black and white kind. All and any language - providing there are subtitles! But the ones I can uderstand on my own without help are also not as lucid because the language isnt what is spoken today.

 Easy to decipher then that language evolves?  Is in constant process of evolution? Fair also to assume that literature and entertainment are important contributors to this process?
Can I then conclude that what I hear in the songs today and on the streets and in movies will influence the development of what will come tommorow? That for example shoulda, woulda, coulda will be proper words of choice? That if you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring on it would be obvious? 

 More importantly - if I find yesterdays' difficult to understand and tommorow's uncomfortable to be with, then am "I" the lost one? 

Its a worry

I have recently discovered the hidden [from me] world of internet cinema. And as a result have been delighfully hooked on new marathi movies. Delighted not so much that I can watch movies now and keep up with new releases but more excited about the kind of movies I am able to watch.
I belong to the generation that actually looked forward to watching the saturday night marathi and sunday, hindi movies on Doordarshan. The marathi movies then were of substance in the sense that there was a storyline, credible acting and believeable and 'can realte to' kind of portrayals. As we grew up and the weekend offering dried up, so also the interest in watching these movies. The disinterest is attributable to a lot of factors including a fair amount of ' vernacular snub' developed in school but on reflection the movies got ridiculous as well. Slapstick and loud just wasnt attractive enough when the likes of  Stallone and Jackie Chang were available on VCR rentals!
Now I find myself falling in love all over again with marathi cinema. Its a great feeling! Of course nostalgia is always an ingredient when "again" is involved. And it makes me so happy to see the content of movies, the attempts at storytelling and the efforts of actors out to connect with audiences with credible talking points. In the past year I have seen movies address/recognize/highlight various issues for example, public attitudes towards health disorders like leucoderma, downs syndrome, schizophrenia; social issues like farmer suicides, sarva shiksha abhiyan [education for all campaign], abandoned-for-a-younger-woman, children of divorced parents, social image of a teacher-student realtionships etc
The attempts to present these issues are visibly sincere. Whats more the movies although not exactly rolling in hype and publicity enlist almost entirely an A-list star cast. And in many instances have these top artists in the marathi industry also contribute in pre and/or post production like script, story, songs/poetry, production, direction and such.

Now while I am getting all warm and fuzzy about this there comes creeping in my mind a worry. Will our generation be the last taking such pride? What I mean by our generation is the ones who left home for lives abroad and may go back but certainly will not see our kids brought up the way we were. Installing any feelings let alone love or even attachment for the mother tongue in our kids is a topic of  never ending discussion in the expatriate populations, has been for generations I am sure. But I am concerned about mine and thereby the first generation foreign born. While on one hand I concede to the 'this isnt my first language and I dont want to make efforts to know' argument of the born-outside-generation on the other hand [try and keep the economist from popping up!] I now really share the pangs of anxiety and in some part the agony of realising that everything we hold dear about this complex emotion may be lost!
Ours is then effectivly the last generation to appreciate and be thrilled by the joy of such things as even a rejuvenated regional cinema!!

History is written by the ...who?

" History is written by victors" - Churchhill
[or to be politically correct, "attributed to Winston Churchill, but of unknown origin."]
 Heard it for the first time during the school years, and then recognized it at various times in magazines, books, newspaper atricles, etc..



Recently, two events have given me reason to ponder over it. In no partrticular oder;
1] National Public Radio did a interview with a panel over the upcoming and much hyped HBO mini-series, The Pacific. Based on true accounts, the story focuses on 3 US Marines and their fellows from their first battle with the Japanese upto their triumphant return. Sounds predictable right? Wrong. What I heard was the story of the moral fight, the battles with conscience and the loss of humanity that dogged the marines. How by the time the war came to an end there was general dispair over fellow soldiers turning into cold killing machines. The series also depicts the public attitudes towards the soldiers; Japan and back home. 
All in all this is not what one would think about when thinking about the pacific theater during the WWII. America was on the wining side, they then were the writers of history right? And heroes from the winning side are brave, strong willed, and courageous, right? Not vulnerable, afraid, and later as the war progressed inhuman and their soul in tatters!


2] The 2009 elections in Iran. The incumbent Mahmoud Ahmadinejad won 62% of the votes cast. The world and grandmother followed the drama that followed the result declaration. The world and grandmother sympathised with the protestors and were appalled by scenes and stories of repression and oppression. The news arena was abuzz with stories from Iranians who had won over the world sentiment and were crying out that they had in fact won the elections and the Ahmedinejad regime has lost.  That was June 2009 and it is now the end of 2010's first quarter, and the result still stands, Ahmadinejad is the current president of the IRI.
He won and he stays. But look up the elections and you will not find it that straight forward.


Is the new media responsible for changing the adage? With social networks enabling ordinary folks to create and dissipate news [that effects them..or not!] the lines between the winers and losers have become blured; now anyone can write [history/commentary] irrespective of which side of the - now blurred than ever- line one is on; has the information age really and truly revolutionised the appetite for information and knowledge [general in this context]?


While I had immersed myself in thinking that history writing in the now digital age and info age will be more representative of all parties to a conflict, that power coming from winning will not be the sole hand that writes history, I come across this book review:
Let Our Fame Be Great: Journeys Among the Defiant People of the Caucasus. By Oliver Bullough.
Allen Lane; 496 pages [Not released yet]
To quote the essence of what stirred me " One of Mr Bullough’s most powerful points is how little about the Circassians can be found even in works by specialist historians of the region."


Not quite there yet...

Avatar

Saw Avatar recently. Fantastic.
But throughout the movie kept feeling that it wasnt all fantasy. That the reel wasnt too far away from the real.

The first half of the movie was a web of metaphors for a lot of things that have been the bread and butter of my being for the last decade and more.
First of all, there is the quite obvious 'colonialism' aspect to the plot. Its easy to draw parallels to not only history and trace the thinking that resulted in a few nations colonising more than half the world. But its relatively modern too. Nations first drawn to raw materials needed for their industrial purposes, have been in modern times replaced my Multi-National Corporations seeking profits. The 'humane' aspect isnt amiss too. While on the one hand the MNCs seek their own prosperity whatever the cost, on the other they also claim to 'want to look after' the affected population. [Note the economic-hand-speak!] The contemporary trend of Nation States moving in on the developing nations mostly in South Asia and the African Continent in the name of securing the future of their citizens although not clearly depicted, is only an extention of thought.

It is the definition of what constitutes 'looking out for the affected population' where another theme gets folded into the narrative. The story of development aid! This gets totally higlighted in my opinion when Parker Selfridge voices his frustration over the problem the Na'vi present. I cannot quote but the essence of Parker's problem was - the RDA corporation and the human race they represent have offered the Na'vi rehabilitation, offered to school their children [in English!!], and are willing to negotiate over what ever they want to facilitate their 'moving out' from over the source of the mineral the RDA wants to mine but the indigineous just do not seem to appreciate the generous offers and move over. The avatar program is also an extension of this generosity because it is ultimately aimed to understand what it will take for the Na'vi to give up and enable peaceful mining. This generosity is apparent in the attempt the corporation is making in trying to assimilate and connect with the inhabitants instead of an all out and forceful eviction.

This thread of frustration is absolutely reminiscent of the development aid argument. In that the aid donor nations not only presume to know what constitutes best alternatives but also languish in the pathos they see in the natives not realising the opportunity they are offered to 'bettter their lives'. This vexation is not only felt by aid donors but sometimes equally by goverments offering their citizens alternatives to development.
It is posiible to view the avatar program of the RDA as an equivalent to the paradigms of 'partnership' and 'ownership' within the aid world while at the same time remaining within the ambit of 'conditionality'. And the ultimate orders by Selfridge of destruction or forceful eviction of the Na'vi by Colonel Quaritch's army after concluding that peaceful negotiations are not going to work and all avenues of persuasion have been exhausted, as a familiar phase in most development projects [irrespective of who finances them] that involve displacement over the project area.

I must point out that the school of thought I speak of here may not be the only and most current paradigm in development studies. Although this critcism has withstood decades.